Song by MercyMe

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You, Jesus
Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing, “Hallelujah!”?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus
Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing “Hallelujah!”?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine!

Oh-oh, surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus
Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing “Hallelujah!”?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine, oh, yeah
I can only imagine
I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine

And I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You

My granddaughter, Kylie ran into the arms of Jesus . Many prayers for her healing became a reality at the moment she saw her Rescuer, Jesus Christ, whom she placed her faith and trust in at the age of 6 . As I read her the Jesus Bible Story book she heard the good news that Jesus is the True Light and He loved the whole world so much that He shed his blood for sin and died and was buried and rose again to show that he defeated the power of sin over one’s life. All those who call on the name of the Lord will be saved . Kylie did call out and she yelled…. Jesus is my Rescuer!!!! And she told her mom and dad the good news!!
Jesus’s light was in Kylie and a bright light she was to all of us!!! Now she is living in His light … meeting those who have gone before and waiting for those of us who have also trusted Christ as our Light, Faithful, Redeemer, Resurrection and Life, Rescuer, Savior, Comforter,and Friend.
Love you , Kylie I’ll see you again!!! Oma

Your prayers have been answered

I found out today around 7:30 am that Kylie ran into the arms of Jesus. She is no longer in pain and now is completely healed.

She is no longer suffering and she is able to run free and sing and dance!!!! She is meeting all the family that has gone before her!!!

As I lay here in bed just talking to the Lord….He gives me a promise in His Word….as I hope and trust in the Him.

“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” I love this promise.

It’s an active position not passive. It’s receiving it from the only source that has it. ……..It’s orienting my hope toward God instead of toward my own ability to power through.

I have to consciously stop. Then I turn to God and say….: “I don’t have what I need. You do. I’m waiting on You.”

Sometimes it’s opening Scripture and reading promises about His strength. Sometimes it’s sitting in silence instead of frantically striving. Sometimes it’s honest worship: “I’m empty, and I need You.”

Admitting I can’t, and trusting that He will.

Then trust that renewed strength will come and it will!!

Where does my strength come from?

The Lord !!!

The one who made heaven and earth!!!!

Portions taken from Faithful Grace

Song by Ben Fuller, David Leonard, and Leanna Crawford ‧ 2024

I could listen to this song all day it has a beautiful melody and words

Great Aunt Maurine said at a hundred and three
Write scripture on your heart for when you need it
‘Cause anxiety hates Psalm 23
So just say it to yourself ’til you believe it
And I’m feeling like I’m needing it right now

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Oh, I know You are with me, my Father, my friend
Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days
I know by Your still waters, I’m safe

Lord, I believe You can set me at ease
Turn this broken piece in me to peace and quiet
I know there’s power in Your word
So I’ll say it over and over ’til my soul’s reminded

Oh, The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Oh, I know You are with me, my Father, my friend
Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days
I know by Your still waters, I’m safe

Still waters run through any valley I could find
I’m laying fear down here at Heaven’s riverside
Your word has been true in every season of my life
I believe, yes, I believe still waters run through any valley I could find
I’m laying fear down here at Heaven’s riverside
Your word has been true in every season of my life
I believe, yes, I believe

Oh, The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Oh, I know You are with me, my Father, my friend
Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days
I know by Your still waters I’m safe

Today I gave each of the children an angel and a letter .

Kylie wanted to see her angel and even gave me a thank you… and I was able to read her letter to her.

This is from Faithful Grace….

Lord, it is well with my soul, a declaration I’m choosing to make even when my circumstances aren’t well, when my body hurts, when my heart breaks, when nothing feels okay.

This isn’t denying reality or pretending everything is fine, it’s declaring that at the deepest level, where it matters most, my soul rests secure in You regardless of what’s happening around me.

Teach me the difference between my circumstances and my soul, that one can be chaos while the other remains at peace, that external storms don’t have to create internal ones.

I can say it is well with my soul even when life isn’t well, health isn’t well, relationships aren’t well, finances aren’t well, because my soul’s wellness isn’t tied to those things.

Help me anchor my soul in You so deeply that whatever happens to my body, my plans, my life, the core of who I am remains settled, steady, at peace in Your hands.

Remind me that Horatio Spafford wrote these words after losing his children, proving it’s possible to declare wellness of soul in the midst of devastating loss and pain.

Give me grace to make this declaration authentically, not as denial but as defiant faith, choosing to affirm that despite everything, it is well with my soul because You hold it.

Let me say with confidence today and always, it is well with my soul, not because everything is okay but because my soul is anchored in the God who is always okay.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

Through the hard times in life … many times … songs are what put to words what.our hearts need to hear…. or words that are sung express our inward desires and hopes. I love this song by Mercy Me…

Make it well with my soul
Don’t let me face this loneliness alone
Make it well with my soul
I need a peace that only heaven knows
Jesus, could you please
Just sit and cry with me
‘Til I can sing
‘Til I can sing

It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
Whatever my lot
You are still my God
It is well
It is well with my soul

Make it well with my soul
When the storm is raging, please don’t let me go
Oh, voice that calms the sea
Keep whispering to me
So I can sing
So I can sing

It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
Whatever my lot
You are still my God
It is well
It is well with my soul

Make it well with my soul
Oh
Make it well with my soul
Make it well with my soul

Make it well with my soul
Keep this heart from hardening like stone
Show me through the pain
There’s reason still to praise
So I can sing
So I can sing

It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
Whatever my lot
You are still my God, oh
Whatever my lot
You are still my God, oh
Whatever my lot
You are still my God

It is well
It is well with my soul

Kylie is not far from my thoughts and prayers….

I am so thankful for my family!!! Kylie is truly loved !!!!!! I am so appreciative of my girls for surrounding their sister and her family with their presence, love , and support during this hard time.

And the beautiful truth is this: We never walk that road alone. God is with us as we walk with them.

Kylie wanted to see a blue butterfly when she went into the butterfly exhibit at Hershey Gardens. I secretly prayed she would have a butterfly land on her.. thinking that would be so cool. Well instead of the butterfly landing on Kylie’s head it landed on Sean’s hat as you see in the pictures. I love the excitement in her face at seeing the butterflies all around her. When you exit the butterfly room there is a holding room in case a butterfly escapes … they can capture it and return it back to the butterfly conservatory. As we exited the conservatory ….a blue 🦋 butterfly followed Kylie out into the holding room….I will never forget that!!!!

Lord, quiet every anxious thought that races through my mind, the what-ifs and worst-case scenarios that steal my peace.

Teach me to recognize anxious thoughts the moment they start, to catch them before they snowball, to bring them to You instead of letting them run wild.

Help me replace every anxious thought ……..with truth, …….to counter the lies fear tells ……..with the promises You’ve given, to speak Your Word over the worries that won’t stop shouting.

Remind me that I don’t have to believe every thought that crosses my mind, that I have the power through You to take thoughts captive, to reject the ones that don’t align with Your truth.

Give me practical tools to quiet my mind, moments throughout the day to pause and breathe, prayers I can pray when anxiety starts to rise, scriptures I can cling to when thoughts won’t settle.

Let Your peace guard my mind today, silencing the anxious voices, calming the mental storm, replacing fear with trust and worry with the confident assurance that You are in control.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

From Faithful Grace

A quick update on Kylie.

Last night, Kylie developed some bladder complications that led to a trip to the ER. An ultrasound showed a large clot in her bladder which caused quite a bit of discomfort. Thankfully, she passed a significant amount of blood and clots later in the evening and started feeling much better afterward.

We spoke with her oncologist this morning. Urology and radiation oncology are reviewing everything and we expect to meet with them later today or tomorrow to discuss next steps. Kylie is scheduled to receive a transfusion later today to help keep her stable. The team would like to keep her in the hospital for the next day or two so they can continue to monitor her closely.

Kylie woke up in good spirits this morning. She ate breakfast, has been playing Roblox, and is feeling much more like herself.

We just arrived back from a fun week with Kylie and family at Hershey Park. Here are some of our memories

Kylie was singing in the car and belting out Katy Nicole’s chorus from her song “ When I Fall”….. the song is about hitting rock bottom, overcoming , and surrendering control…. It reminds us that God is a steadfast presence who catches us when our strength fails.

I had never heard it before it brought tears to my eyes as she sang it

I came home yesterday

This is the post Sean wrote to let everyone about the results of the meeting on Tuesday with the oncologists.

We met with Kylie’s oncology and supportive care teams for a long and emotional discussion about where things currently stand.

Over the past several weeks we have explored many possible options for Kylie including additional chemotherapy, clinical trials, targeted approaches, radiation, surgery, and lower intensity treatments that could potentially slow progression while preserving quality of life.

Unfortunately, after reviewing Kylie’s recent scans, blood work trends, treatment history, and how her body is responding overall, the recommendation from the team was that stopping aggressive treatment would be the most compassionate path forward for Kylie.

While there are still treatments that could technically be attempted, the concern is that further treatment is now just as likely to cause harm and suffering as it is to help. Kylie’s body has been through an incredible amount over the last four and a half years. Her marrow is struggling to recover, she is becoming more dependent on transfusions, and the new bladder lesion and recent bleeding are very concerning developments.

This was one of the hardest conversations we have ever had as parents. We are taking the next couple days to process everything and decide exactly what the coming weeks and months will look like for Kylie and our family.

We are incredibly thankful for the continued love, prayers, and support that so many people have shown Kylie and our family throughout this journey. We continue to ask for prayers for Kylie and for wisdom and strength as we navigate these decisions.

Father, when the weight of the world feels heavy and my own strength begins to fail, I turn my heart toward You. I often look for power in my own efforts, but You remind me that true resilience is found in the lightness of Your presence. Lord, let Your joy bubble up within me, not as a fleeting emotion, but as a firm foundation that carries me through every season. I surrender my worries and choose to dance in the grace You so freely give. Thank You for being the song in my heart and the strength in my soul.

This was taken from Word of Encouragement

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

(Nehemiah 8:10)

Kylie is having scans done today and then decisions will be made depending on the report. Praying for wisdom and peace with the decision that is made to go forward.

I have been with the family since May 4 and it has been a great time . We have really had time together!!! I stayed with Kylie and Kirsten for a week at UPMC as Kylie received chemotherapy. Now I have been at their house for 2 weeks helping where I can and watching Cam and Quinn when they have appts . Quinn trusted Jesus as her rescuer while I have been here and she also is quite the artist and she won the VFW ancillary national art contest as best in her grade level.

In Philippians 1:12-26 we can rejoice in all situations!

How?

Paul was in prison for preaching the gospel…..He rejoiced bec he could share the hope that was in him… to the guards watching him.. to anyone who would listen!! The good news… that Jesus died in our place for our sins and satisfied the wrath of God for us … which we deserved… he was buried and rose again the 3rd day… which was proof he was God and had conquered death… so if we by faith believe .. we can have eternal life through Jesus Christ!!!

Because He lives… He is with us in our circumstances … As the book of James says…Count it all Joy when you fall into various trials… because He is in the process of changing us!!!

Many times I only recognize God’s help when circumstances change quickly. I call it an answer when ……what I begged God to change ……finally changes.

But sometimes God answers …in a deeper way.

Some answers…… do not remove the struggle…. they keep me from collapsing inside it. Even as I face difficulty, He gives me strength I did not have yesterday.

That does not make the pain small. The agony in Gethsemane was real. Jesus remained in deep distress. …..Strength is not the same thing as ease. ……But God is present in the suffering, …..not absent from it.

I have been praying for God to remove Kylie’s cancer….. God is already answering by holding me up within it. …. This is not silence because the answer did not come as I wanted.

Sustained grace is not silence…., and daily strength is not neglect. …….Help …does not always look like ….escape first.

Sometimes God’s answer is, “I am not taking this away right now. …..But I will give you what you need to walk through it with Me.” ……..Jesus experienced that first-hand. …. God has not forgotten us….just because the cancer remains……. It does not mean heaven is ignoring us.

God is not “silent” just because the answer did not come the way I expected!

I can’t ignore the “smaller victories “ just because the one I see as “MAJOR “ is still ongoing!!

The scans gave us news we did not want to hear… the cancer showed slight progression ….

So the team discussed the options and agreed… the best plan for Kylie is for her to continue her current treatment for another 3-4 cycles. After that, the team will reassess to determine if this regimen remains the most effective path forward.

I know many have been praying for Kylie and I am so thankful for your support. God is in control… His arms will never let us go!!

I am praying for Kylie and the family as they anticipate the scans tomorrow to see how the treatment has impacted the cancer in her little body. This is a heavy weight to bear and I pray

Isaiah 40:31

those who wait for the Lord[who expect, look for, and hope in Him] Will gain new strength andrenew their power; They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; They will run and not become weary, They will walk and not grow tired.

Philippians 4:4-9

Rejoice in the Lord, Pray and be thankful, finally … think on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good report, virtuous, praiseworthy, and the Peace of God will be with me… and the Peace of God , which passes all understanding, shall keep my heart and mind through Christ Jesus!!!

Kylie is constantly in my prayers. She is currently in her second relapse of her very rare cancer ( stage 4 alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma ) she is again in chemotherapy. She goes for 1 week of in hospital chemotherapy and then goes home for two weeks and starts chemotherapy again. This cycle was delayed a week as her platelets did not rebound enough to continue the chemotherapy. So she had blood work this week and now her platelets are at a level to allow chemotherapy to continue. Her spirits are up … I went for 1 week to visit and see the family… we had fun doing Legos, painting nails, sledding, shopping, and coloring our hair!!! Her hair is starting to fall out now so Kirsten had to use clippers to make it shorter… and Kylie was ok with it!!!!

So we decided to celebrate Christmas this past weekend…as Kylie and her family will be going to Disney World right after Christmas. Santa came to visit and we had some great laughs and necessary conversations.

Sean and Kirsten met with Kylie’s oncology team today. Her recent scans showed a small nodule in her right lung and her blood counts continue to be low. Because of this they are stopping the clinical trial she has been on. Kylie will take a short break from chemotherapy while she rests and regains some strength before switching to a new regimen.

Sean and Kirsten discussed multiple options with her team and they were asked to take some time to think everything over before making a decision. Kylie and the family need your prayers as they decide which path is best for her moving forward. Thank you for the continued love and support.

My prayer for them is that they will be strengthened by the Holy Spirit, and that they will be rooted and grounded in God’s love.. and experience him in a deep way so that they can move forward in the strength that he gives them to make the choices that will be right for Kylie and their family. That they will have Peace in the midst of this trial.

✨ CLEAR SCANS ✨

Kylie’s oncology team was very pleased with her results today. Her CT scan shows no evidence of metastatic disease and no new suspicious lesions were identified.

With these results, Kylie is now cleared to move forward with the clinical trial.

Thank you all for the continued love, prayers, and support as Kylie transitions into this next phase of treatment.

Kylie officially became a member of the IUP Field Hockey team last night !!! ❤️🏑

This was such a special and unforgettable moment for Kylie. She is beyond excited to be part of the team #TalonsUp

Today we went to Dutch Wonderland!!!

✨CLEAR SCANS!✨Kylie’s oncologist said that— her scans look great!

The report shows that her lungs and abdomen are clear without any signs of consolidation, nodules, or masses. Yet she still has 12-18 months of chemotherapy cycles if she continues to tolerate.

Kylie will begin her next round of chemotherapy tomorrow.

Her appetite is increasing with some new meds that she is now taking. I could see the difference in some of her newer photos.

I am hoping Rob and I will have a visit from the family by the end of July… depending on how Kylie handles the chemo tomorrow .

So many are praying for Kylie and that is the wind beneath our wings.

It was an early morning trip to Pittsburgh today. Kylie got surveillance scans. The results will help guide the next steps in her treatment.

Praying for her constantly!!!

Kylie finished cycle 7 of chemo and her eye exam showed her eye sight has improved!!!

She will have scans on July 9 to determine her treatment course moving forward.

Kylie had a slightly elevated temperature when she arrived. She got a dose of antibiotics and fluids, her blood work looked good and they decided to move forward with treatment. The team was comfortable with Sean and Kirsten monitoring her at home . So she was discharged and is home now.

They had a family retreat with a group of believers in Christ in Georgia!!! I can just see in the pictures the love that was showered on my kids and I am humbled and so thankful that our family was supported in this way!!

Today Kylie starts chemo treatment in Pittsburgh!!

Went to Epcot

3 years ago Make a Wish sent the family to Disney World and they stayed at ….Give kids the World resort. They went back to visit and see Kylie’s star that she signed.

And met up with friends from home that were also in Disney World!!! Best friend Lydia and her family!!

Today was Hollywood Studios! Looks like fun!!!

Yesterday was a pool day!!

Sean and Quinn left yesterday by car and Kirsten, Cam and Kylie are flying with grandma and grandpa. Sean will meet them at the airport. They needed the car …. For after Disney… they are being hosted in Georgia by a group that sponsors cancer families for a week. So this will give them much needed family time … away from chemo, work, daily grind at home. Praying for Peace, Rest, Rejuvenation, and Love.

Kirsten and Mary Beth ( Sean’s mom) went to Pittsburgh to have the IV chemotherapy started for Kylie.

I had fun day with the Quinn and Cam… making flower cards, playing on swing set , making pretzel bites and chocolate chip cookies!!

Kylie is home now and will continue with her at home chemotherapy pills for next 5 days.

Sean will be returning home tomorrow.

God never intended for us to take on our battles alone. Scripture shows us again and again we have a God who fights for us.

When the Israelites were trapped between the approaching Egyptian army and the Red Sea, God said, “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

When a ruddy young shepherd faced off against a hardened, Philistine giant, he armed himself with only five smooth stones “that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hand.” 1 Samuel 17:47

Give it to God knowing he is God who fights for us. He will never leave us …..we just have to trust and look to Him …. each day at a time.

The insurance company has approved the at home chemotherapy!!! We are very thankful for this answer to prayer!!!

I am now with the family …as Sean is leaving for a class trip with the seniors as their class advisor and chaperone.

In times of waiting, times of need
When I know loss, when I am weak
I know His grace will renew these days
The Lord is my salvation

The Lord Is My Salvation

Song by Keith & Kristyn Getty ‧ 2016

The doctors that are treating Kylie are trying to resolve an issue with the insurance company . The insurance company will no longer pay for At home use of the chemotherapy drug that has been working for Kylie. Her next cycle begins in 3 weeks.

We are praying for wisdom for the doctors in getting a resolution to this matter … which hopefully will be sometime this week.

Kylie had chemotherapy yesterday in the hospital and continues her chemotherapy at home for next 4 days….while at hospital they determined she needed a blood transfusion… so she had that done as well and is now home… we are enjoying her ,Quinn ,and Cameron before we leave tomorrow!!!

Doing makeup!!!

Aunt Erin and cousin Teagan will be coming from Maine to visit Kylie and family for a few days!!! I will be joining them. We will be arriving tomorrow!!! Can’t wait!!!

Yesterday Kylie started cycle four of treatment. Her oncology team confirmed that she’s responding well to the treatment so far. We will continue with the current treatment plan for at least two more cycles before reassessing next steps.

We’re happy to share that Kylie’s treatment plan is showing positive results! While we haven’t yet spoken with the oncology team, the PET/CT scan report brings some great news: “Previously shown pleural-based metastases are no longer discernible.”

There is a new, small lesion on her spleen, described as “too small to fully characterize,” which will require monitoring as we continue her treatment. Overall, we are encouraged by the effectiveness of the chemotherapy and are hopeful for the road ahead.

Kylie had her scans done today and Sean said she handled it well. These scans will help guide the next steps in treatment. On April 3 she will start Her cycle 4 of chemo.

When I tell Kylie’s story to people … many ask why… why would she have cancer at her young age? It isn’t fair from anyone’s viewpoint.

Yet……I believe that God is working on a canvas too big for us to see from this vantage point. I am called to TRUST…

The good news ( gospel) is … Jesus died once and for All…for our debt of sin ..he paid it all ..call on the name of the Lord and you will be saved! Our eternal hope is secure because Jesus rose from the grave and lives !!!

God is asking me… Can you TRUST me with having this experience… even if I never tell you why?

Then it begs the question …can you trust him if you don’t know him? I know Him from reading His Word… and that’s how I have hope. Hope came out of the grave on Resurrection Day !

Why ? isn’t the question

Can I trust him? Is the question!!!! YES

I pray for our Kylie… this is her good news… and that gives me peace and hope .

Kylie just took her final dose of chemotherapy for cycle 3!

The first couple of nights were a bit rough with sleep, but thankfully, she had a much better night of rest last night. Her appetite is also doing much better compared to the first two cycles, which is a huge relief.

They made some adjustments to her medication, and it’s really helping with the nausea and other side effects she’s been dealing with.

Kylie now has a two week break from treatment before we head back to Pittsburgh. She is scheduled to have a CT/PET scan on April 1st before starting cycle 4.

Thank you for all the love, support, and prayers 🙏

Never far from my thoughts and prayers

So many have reached out to Kylie and she has been improving each day. I can see the sparkle coming back to her eyes.

Yet tomorrow the cycle 3 of chemo starts once again. I will not be going this cycle as I have my own doctor appointments and plan to visit Karis and Erin… in the next 2 weeks.

Sean’s mom, Mary Beth, will be available to help out . We have been tag teaming and am so thankful that she can be there when I cannot!!!

Kylie has been able to go outside now that the weather is nicer… and she had some friends over the other day!!! One little boy , in her class at school, shaved his head … in support of her!!!

Kylie is feeling better now… she was able to go outside yesterday… I left to go home yesterday…

Kylie lives in Emeigh, Pa…4 hours from our home in Honey Brook, Pa. so this time I took the train from Lancaster to Altoona. It was great… much more relaxing than driving!!!

I am there mostly to support the family during the hard times of her treatment. In some ways it is sad for Kylie … because she only sees me when she is really sick… when she starts feeling better then it’s time for me to leave… I was there this time for 2 weeks.

I think once the warmer weather comes … it will be better for everyone… for getting outside in the sunshine and walking and running outside is so healing for everyone !!!

We are so thankful for those who have reached out to Kylie… our hearts are warmed by your kindness.. and God’s love to us is evident through you.

Before I left … Kylie gave me such a long hug… I let her embrace me for as long as she needed and I know it was healing for both of us!!

When I got home … Rob had flowers waiting for me!!!

Kylie did not make it to see her classmates …as her tummy was not feeling well… but her friend , Ellie came to visit after school … and Kylie was very happy to see her!!!

Today we were able to get Kylie to do an activity of making a gingerbread house. She seems to be handling the second round of chemo much better… although she is not able to go to school… she has a teacher that comes once or twice a week to help keep up with her schoolwork. Tomorrow she is going to try to go to school for 1 hour for an activity with her classmates. This should really boost her morale.